Christmas Eve Gratitude

December 24, 2005

This week, amidst the hustle and bustle of shopping, planning for Santa's visit, and visitation with co-parents, I was struck by just how much a part of my life Justin makes up.

I'm the custodial parent for Justin, age 9. He is the absolute reason why I get up every morning. If he weren't in my life, I'd have to look long and hard for another reason to put two feet on the floor every morning.

When I took him to his Mom's house on Wednesday for a week's stay, I immediately felt the void that only he can fill.

My other children have grown up and away; they have their own lives and are activley leading them. Justin is the one left behind, and as such, has become to focus of my life.

Each, in turn, has occupied the same position in my life: Sometimes simultaneously. Having been the non-custodial parent to my daughter Bethany and son Benjamin, I understand this chronic void all too well. I feel that void continually even now.

This is the end of a year filled with many personal and professional changes. It's been difficult for Justin to adjust to a new living arrangement, a new school, and living further away from his mother.

Others may see him as a 9 year old who needs to step-up to the situation, and at times, I guess that is true.

But he is, and forever will remain, my little boy. He's a little boy who needs reassurance, encouragement, and love.

I clearly don't deserve the continual blessing that he is in my life. But I am grateful for his daily presence, his efforts to step-up, and the emotional tenderness he tries so hard to conceal.

I love you, Justin.

May I be the father that you deserve at all times.

Love always,

Dad @ G3